Complain Your Way To Hell – An On-The-Fly Short
The phone rang one, two, three times before mom finally answered.
“Hello, Lisa,” her groggy voice said into the phone.
“Mom, she has got to come get this dog out of my house. He’s barking and whining and getting on my last damn nerve! I don’t want this dog in here. I don’t want him in my house. I want him gone TODAY. Why did you let her get this dog? She doesn’t take care of the one she’s got! What does she need two dogs for? Stupid little bitch. I want him gone! All he does is tear up my house and piss and shit everywhere. Get him out of here. I don’t care if you toss him out on the street or take him to the pound or if that other dog kills him. Get him out of my house. I said she could keep him here, I didn’t say I’d take care of him. Why did you even let her have him in the first place?” I stopped to take a breath and mom spoke, cutting me off.
“She didn’t ask us anything about the dog, Lisa. She didn’t ask if she could have him, we didn’t tell that she could bring him home.”
“I don’t care what you told her or didn’t tell her. I want him out of here TODAY. He’s good for nothing. He’s nothing but a pain in my ass.”
“He’s a puppy. He needs to be trained. Keeping him locked up in the cage all day does not train puppies, it makes them wild.”
“I DON’T CARE!” I shouted, getting fed up with the way the defended that little brat. They always stood up for her, always gave her what she wanted. Well, she wasn’t going to get what she wanted today. “I WANT HIM GONE!”
“Hold…hold on.”
I heard a soft, irritated rumble in the background, then mom said, “Your mom says you need to come get your dog. He needs to go out. She wants him out of her house today.” There was another, longer rumble, then mom said into the phone, “Lisa, your daughter says she was just over there. The dog peed and pooped, she gave him food and water and put him back in the cage.”
“She did? I’m sorry. Tell her I apologize. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah.”
“Alright, bye. Oh, did you call to refill my Zyprexa?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Bye.”
